Nice guy = Stable = Boring = End of relationship

昨天和一班旧同事见面。大家很久不见了，所以都忙着update 近况。里头有人换了男朋友，有人想要换男朋友，有人正在换工作，有人十年如一日，没有改变。虽然，我们是很不同的人，处在不一样的生活圈子，但偶尔见面聊天，还是觉得很有趣的。

Grumpy, Sleepy和Bashful都说她们在一个relationship太久会觉得闷。好像Sleepy的男朋友太闷，只会在家里打电动，出去约会来来去去只会去那几个地方。虽然她知道男朋友一定不会出轨，是很stable的人，但是太闷了。Grumpy的男朋友对她很好也很坏。好的是会为她作事，为她打点事情。坏的是，常常吵架，而且常用abusive words。但因为这样，她反而觉得和他在一起很刺激。

Grumpy的前一个男朋友就是一个典型的Husband material。疼她，也很容忍她的坏脾气。她再怎么无理取闹，他都不会对她生气。她放工多迟，他都愿意等着接她回家。就算在他们分手后，他仍然愿意为她做事，陪她逛街。我只可以说她检到宝，又扔掉。现在是自作自受。

我突然觉得原来男人不坏，女人不爱是真的。乖乖的男人没有新鲜感，没有刺激性。不吵架的relationship会越来越闷。普遍上，一个对自己很有信心，或本身条件很好的女人 (像Grumpy, Dopey and Bashful)，都不会愿意settle for 乖乖男。因为她们相信自己可以找到更有趣的男人 and they believe that they can always find a better one。这样看来，是不是那些甘愿和闷男人在一起的女人，都有一点点自卑呢?

男人也一样，甚至比女人更喜欢自讨苦吃。所以就算有的女人再任性，再霸道，还是会有一个守护在身边的男人，爱她们爱到发疯。如果女人对他们体贴and considerate, 男人反而觉得闷。因为已经没有新鲜感，因为容易掳获你的心，所以没有刺激，也没有火花了。

或许一切只是和性格有关吧。那些喜欢刺激的，就会不断地自讨苦吃；喜欢平稳的，就会过着淡而无味的生活。

我在我的朋友身上学到，原来男人和女人的分别并不是真的很大。

 

IB “Inner beautified” ladies score 1!

昨天和一位男性朋友聊天。他说他周末的时候，和两个女同事去BBQ。女同事A单身，比较年轻也比较漂亮；女同事B虽然有点胖胖的，但比较聪明，现在有男朋友。通常我都觉得这样的gathering背后一定有什么特别的目的，所以我问他: “Is it a matchmaking session?” 理所当然，一定是为了matchmake 他和那个比较漂亮的A，而不是那个有点胖胖的B。虽然明显的，B已经有男朋友，所以不可能。但我觉得就算她们两个都没有男朋友，男人应该都会对A比较感兴趣吧?

Anyway, 他说他不知道，不过却对B比较有好感，因为他喜欢B 的聪明。虽然他觉得A 比较漂亮，但却 “cannot stand that A is stupid”。Ok, he’s getting mean. But, think of it this way, isn’t it encouraging that some guys out there actually think that a girl’s interior is more important than her exterior?

Sometimes, women need some boost jab like this i.e. something which happened around you to tell you that your value does not always depreciate with age; it actually appreciates with age! 但是，我们不可以就这样松懈下来。举个例子: 两个女人，一个年轻漂亮，一个稍年长，样子也普通。两个人都同样聪明，有趣。那么男人会选择谁呢? 你知道答案的。

Morale of the story is: 女人要不断地丰富自己，不要让自己停在某一个阶段就满意了。所以，如果你年轻漂亮，要记得充实自己的内在，因为外表是会改变的。就算外表没有改变，空心的你也难以留住男人的心。

如果你不是年轻漂亮，也不要灰心。因为当你越来越充实的时候，你才找得到那个不被外表所诱惑，懂得珍惜你内在的好男人。就算找不到，你也能过得满足，开心。因为你已经领悟到，你的幸福不一定要是男人给你的。

Reaching weekend soon

Feel so bored at work, not cos of nothing to do, but cos of too many things to do that I dunno which one to do 1^st.

My stupid big boss, KS, keep pushing us to do our jobs (take note that it’s “jobs” not “job”) and at the same time want us to spit something out for the admin projects. She’s driving all of us crazy, just cos she’s going overseas soon and she needs to get those things out before she leaves. Selfish big boss!

My boss, CMI, can’t make it. Cos big boss is squeezing her dry, so she come and squeezes all of us under her. I wonder if the word “no” exists in her dictionary. She just do whatever KS asked her to do without convincing her that she reli cant cope anymore. This is one big, big problem with CMI.

My job is nuts and depressing. Dun tok abt it anymore.

But I’m happy that weekend is coming, cos I’m meeting misssunflowers for a drink this Friday. Yeah! Looking forward to it! Please let Friday come soon!~

Asked someone to buy me DVD for the new Taiwan hit 命中注定我爱你  and I thought it should be out soon. But too bad, it’s still in progress, so I can only watch the remaining episodes online, which I dun reli enjoy as it’s too disrupting.

Tonight eating dinner in town, looking forward to it…

作梦的能力

那天，和Tallie吃晚餐。聊了一些我们 “年轻时”的事。想起我们暗恋过的人，也想起以前作过的傻事，真的很怀念，也很好笑。多么不舍，时间还是会过的。我们还是长大了，还是得面对工作和社会的压力。

我问她: “你说，是面包重要还是爱情重要?”

Tallie: “以前，我觉得爱情重要。你不用去想将来，爱他只因为爱。现在，面包就比较重要了。可能是因为年纪大了，觉得面对现实是很重要的。”

我: “还是因为你没有的东西，才是最珍贵的呢? 比如: 以前的我们，没有什么爱情的经验，所以物以稀为贵，觉得爱情很重要。但在经历过几段感情后，觉得它并不是我们想象的那样美好。再加上，我们认识了现实的残酷。所以，面包渐渐地重要，把爱情的地位挤下去了。”

回家的时候，我重新认识了Tallie。我知道她经历过N段感情。有些男友还算可以，但有些就真的很糟。虽然她从来没有说出口，但我一直以为她对爱情已经没有任何的梦想空间了。但那天，我发现了那个仍对爱情怀抱梦想，对爱情充满憧憬的她。

我问: “你经历过那么多次的感情，难道都不会灰心，不会放弃吗?”

她说: “会伤心，也会灰心啊。但我还是会梦想着美好的爱情。”

看看我身边的朋友，有些人被咬一次，就再也不敢靠近井边，连看一眼都会害怕。但有些人，像Tallie 一样，不管经历过多少挫折，永远都相信梦想的存在。

这就是作梦的能力。

原来，作梦的能力是与生俱来的。它并不会随着你的人生经历而磨灭，也不会随着你人生的一帆风顺而变强。

当我无法作梦时，请不要呵斥我悲观。你要了解，这是我天生且无能为力的缺憾。

Back to my routine

Hi people, i just came back from China. Feel so exhausted after every trip, so din update my blog for quite some time already.

Maybe i am old, i just feel exhausted. Din sleep well in the hotel because i left some lights on when i sleep. Scared of the “u noe wat” since i’m alone in the room.

Thought of sharing something interesting with you all.

Me: Can I ask you a question?

Guy: Shoot.

Me: What is it about the young girls that’s so appealing to guys. In general.

Guy: The fact that they dunno what is Prada and LV? It’s like they are so easily contented and they can be happy so easily. They are cute!

Guy: I went out with this 19-years old gal some time ago. She asked me if I think her butt is too curvy. I said “Hmm, not really”. Then she asked me to touch it. I did and commented “Ya, it’s a bit curvy”.

I was like thinking: Wat the hell! They are cute cos they let u touch their butt?!” It kinda gave me the impression that they are cute cos when guys take advantage of them, they dunno?

Ya right, that is kinda cute, my foot!

I think the gal does not represent all the 19 years old. But her action either means she’s an angel who dunno anything about the worldly ties and she used to live in the faraway land where all people are good or she’s just trying to seduce my friend under the cover of innocence.

Haa, i tend to favor the 2nd one. Cos young does not equate to innocent people and young can also be evil. Rem the book we read in secondary literature class on the Salem witch hunt? That is a classic example.

I’m just scared

After I came back from China, I know that I have to make the decision soon.

Leave or stay? In Singapore or overseas? Internal or external? Have been thinking all these for quite some time. But I know I HAVE to make the decision soon. It’s crazy, but I actually performed a KT analysis on my possible options and yet no conclusion.

Actually, I’m just scared. I’m so scared that I would regret the decision I going to make. Doesn’t it sound crazy that I’m actually afraid of decision which I have not even made! It’s just that for my whole life I have been making safe decisions, like gone to secondary schools that my peers are going, entered the university course which supposedly have the best prospects, picked the job which most people of my uni course gone to and etc.

But this time round, it’s different, it’s like a gamble. I will not be able to know what happen to me if I went overseas. I will not be sure if I’m able to cope with the workload, the culture, the alone thingie etc. If I really take the plunge, it will be a whole new chapter of my life and making the change is as hard as getting out of my comfort zone.

So, I took the entire weekend indulging in fast food, TV and Sex and the City. I feel so lethargic that I dun wish to do anything else. Just occasionally think of what I going to do in about 1 month’s time. The feeling is so familiar, just like going through another break up. Feels like “I know I need to do something, but I’m just too scared to face it” kinda thing.

A little bit of self-denial to buy myself a little bit more time. I know I want to do it, but fear of the unknown and numerous “what-ifs” are clogging up my brain cells and action plans. Then, I started to wonder. If I am seeing someone now, will it change my plan? Hmm….Maybe yes, maybe not. If I do change my plan, isn’t it back to square one again? Back to the old me whereby my life plan is dependent on someone else? And if that someone happens to leave me, again, wouldn’t I be left with feeling of lost and confusion again?

It’s just so defeats the purpose! The reason I want to go overseas is because I want to gain independence, which is something I would not be able to get in this city where I grew up. Anyway, the thought of
“seeing someone change my plan” thing is just an escapist thought of mine. Dun think I’m free to entertain anyone at this point of time.

So, let me whine and be lethargic for one more day and from then onwards, I will face my future with the heck care attitude.

Nice jokes

Incurable Stammerer: “I hea..hea… heard tha…that you can hel…hel…help me”. Speech therapist: “Yes, sure. Ease yourself in the chair, look straight in my eyes, and count slowly till ten”. Stammerer: “O…one, t…two, th…th…three, ….. eight, nine, ten. It’s wonderful, I don’t stammer anymore!” Speech therapist: “My fee is 300 dollar.” Stammerer: “H…h…how mu…mu…much?!” Points you should exclude from your cover letter 1. I regret that I have no references. Unfortunately, every company I have worked for has since closed down. 2. I’ll kill myself if I don’t get a job. 3. I know where you live. 4. By the way, I understand that you have unmarried daughters. 5. I’m confident that I’ll get this job. The voices told me. My wife is missing A man approached a beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “Hi, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” asked the confused woman. The man replied, “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.” Dear Hiring Manager Thank you for your letter. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your bank. Since last year, I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. Therefore, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite your company’s outstanding performance and past experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation. I look forward to seeing you then. Sincerely, Not your typical job applicant