It was a “something-is-missing” weekend (Part III)

Sunday – one day after my bday

My bday has gone passed and it was just like any other day.  Bday is getting more and more insignificant as you grew older. I started to dislike my bday, not cos I feel more and more pressured to get hitch, but I reli dun like the feeling that time rockets and I have done nothing. Practically nothing.

Morning, went to sing KTV with tata and Angel. Haha, finally get to hear the familiar Angel singing again. We sang and ate lunch, updated each other. Congrats to Tata! She was granted a secondment to US! Sooo happy for her. But sad for myself that I’m still stuck in Singapore. When can I fly out like a bird?! Like the rest of them?! Sianz.

Cos I was tired (slept only 3 hrs last night), I went home early to take a nap, but promised to meet angel again some time this week. Guess I’m really exhausted by the weekend partying, I fell asleep almost immediately.

I woke up and watched my 家好月圆大结局。But quite disappointed by it. I think everything happened too abruptly. Like the love between 阿卡 and 阿月, I dun even recall when did they develop? I was expecting some trigger point which transforms their relationship from siblings to couples. Maybe some 爱的表白 in some romantic setting. But nope, they just sat on the sofa and he gave her a teddy and TALA!~ they are together.

嘉美 also. She suddenly became guilt-stricken and decided to expose 红姨during the reporter’s conference? No hints or story development to show the audience her menal state of becoming more and more guilty. Nope. Too abrupt. Then, 阿圆, just went up the stage to hug her and forgive her as if they have been deeply in love for a long time. But actually, they only know each other for 3 months and I really can’t tell how deeply in love they are from the development of the story.

But I do like the story between 管家仔and阿秋。They are so sweet and 阿秋is so nice as to plot to return the shares to 荷妈。Even though it was a happy ending between 管家仔and阿秋, that both are 帅哥美女, so compatible, you can’t helped but wonder how realistic is it that the gal choose some 做饼仔 over a doctor? Ok, forget about that and enjoy the sweetness between them. Bosco is just a very extra side lead, we can forget about him.

Sa姨 is cute as well and you will really pity her when she exposed 嘉美 even though it means losing her only daughter. You hate her at the beginning and you’ll love her at the end.

But how come everyone is so forgiving to those who have hurt them and to those who have taken advantage of them? This is one mystery in the drama. 荷妈is like the great hero of the show, no matter how people hurt her, she can endure and forgive. No matter how devastated the situation is, she can just managed. Her children took after her. They endure no matter how much people wronged them. Like 阿月, who has to keep quiet about the wrongs that 嘉美 have done to her, even when people said that she is stupid or what; when the bad guys are even speaking of 风凉话。

阿庆and中仔 are obviously the 2 big side leads of the show, which is why their stories only constituted 1 or 2 episodes. But the one who have really shone is 阿秋。I like her in the show, cos when she cried, she really acted like it’s so painful. Yet, her crying style is not those “I-must-act-strong-even-though-I’m-crying”, it’s those “温室小花” crying style. So pitiful.

The ending is cliche. But I guess it’s just a heavily sponsored show to please the majority of the audience. That is why it is so cliche and no bad things or even any遗憾in the show.

During dinner time, Tallie called. She and D went down to ktv pub again. Haiz!~ This gal has been frequenting the pub so often that I wondered if she holds any shares in the pub. Anyway, really hope she can find other healthier hobbies and buck up in her work. Life is short and flew pass in a drifty.

Even though my weekends seems eventful, but I still feel that something is missing and I dunno what is missing. Somehow I feel that I will be happier watching HK drama in my house alone than spend it in the pub with a bunch of strangers. There is a part of me which is not filling up and I can do nothing about it.

I dun like complications, I prefer simplicity. So, I try not to think about such philosophical questions too much and too often. It can never go wrong with wishing my today happier than yesterday. Hope that everyone around me will be happy always!

Review: Sidney Shelton – Are you afraid of the dark?

I finished the book in 2 days. The plot is exciting and the prints is highly readable (aka big fonts and large spacing).

It’s about murder of a group of scientists around the world who worked for the same corporation. Then, widows of 2 of the scientists, who were very close to their husband, became the murderer’s next target.

It was exciting, especially when you read how 2 women out-witted the mastermind and his highly advanced technology. In addition to their wits, there is something else that always helped the 2 women to escape unscath. Sheer luck? coincidence? Most likely blessing from their deeply loved husband in the heaven.

Other than the thrills, twists and turns in the novel, one thing caught my attention. The secret that the mastermind held dearly, was his new invention to control the weather. He used it to extort leaders of various countries. If they dun give him what he wants, he will make the country “blessed” with eternal floods or droughts, resulting in billions of losses or even death.

The ending of the story – the mastermind died from his own creation, cos his brain-damaged brother pressed the wrong button.  Duhz! (Btw, it’s not a comedy. The ending seems dumb maybe cos of the way I phrase it)

Anyway, I think the more important thing is that weather modification is real and it did happened in US and Russia in the 1970s. IN THE REAL WORLD, YOU AND I LIVE IN!

Based on the afternote of the book, these 2 countries succeeded in modifying weather to a huge extent. These inventions were threats to every other countries in the world. The invention could be used as weapons in war or means of extortion. Thus, in the late 1970s, most countries (forgot which ones) signed a treaty to stop all inventions and research on weather modifications – for the better of mankind. That’s why the last note goes something like this:

“Someone said – “Do you know that there are hundreds and thousands of people suffering from weather changes and we are doing nothing about it?” Indeed and I truly hope that they are practising what they said – doing nothing about it.”

The initial purpose of weather modification could be to help people who suffered from floods and droughts due to greenhouse effect. But if the creation is not properly managed, it could become a tool to kill.

It sorta send shivers up my spine. To think that something horrible in a novel could be true in the real world, it’s sad and scary. It is a nightmare that you and I are not able to wake up.

I feel that there is always a better way to help the earth. Maybe just one less plastic bag per day or one hour less of electricity per day.

So, why not start with my birthday? 28 March 2009, shut down all electricity for just one hour, from 830pm to 930pm (I think). (Treat it as a birthday gift to me~!)

To pay tribute to the earth, just for one day, one hour.

Review: 家好月圆

Initially when this drama came out, I din have good impression of it. I thought it’s just another 煽情, draggy drama, earning tears with the 离谱情节。

Yesterday, I watched 4 episodes of this drama and was surprisingly drawn to it. But of cos, I still think some of the 情节is too 离谱. Maybe that’s why it has drawn so many people to it. People who likes 离谱shows without knowing it themselves - just like me.

It’s like how can 荷妈be so 忍气吞声?? She was forced to divorce her husband by the 狐狸精, when she already tried to endure and pretend she din noe anything about their affair. She is so “magnanimous” that she even gave her shop name to her husband even though her shop is the original one.

Also, don’t know how come the 狐狸精 is so 理直气壮 when obviously she is at fault? She really behave as if she is in no wrong – not wrong to break up a family as long as she loves the guy, not wrong to betray the woman who saved her from committing suicide cos she loves the guy, not wrong to snatch her employees during the busy season as long as she did it for the business of that guy she loves. Even thought she acted as if she’s so selfless and noble, she is actually a very jealous woman, who can’t stand the sight of her husband and his children being too close to荷妈。

But outside the drama, I really like 米雪。I think she acted VERY VERY well. The kind of 奸she portrayed emits from the inside, which cannot be done if her acting skills is not dare enough.

Oh, I hated Jo饱 as much. Being so heartless, unfaithful and still behaves as if he is not in any wrong. Really, really is a typical 贱男人。

However, upon deeper thought, I think this 贱男人he portrayed is a more realistic version than any other drama. In reality, which 贱男人will really admit that he is in the wrong? which 贱男人will not leave the fat wife for a pretty younger woman who claims that she loves him more than anything in the world? which 贱男人will not use every little excuses to blame the divorce on the wife instead of his infidelity?

Coming to the 帅哥part, I think 管家仔acted only fairly. So far, he was not that outstanding. The one who shone and caught my attention in the 1st 4 episodes is still 阿卡。

I so love him!! Especially his thick black spectacles frame! Think he looks quite cool in it. Hmmm, suddenly realised I always have a little something for guys who wear (and of cos looks nice in) thick black spectable. Dunno why, maybe cos it makes them look cute?

And 阿庆，the gal who can’t speak. Seriously, I dun like her as a person. Cos she always appear to be very flirtatious and with a hidden agenda. But this character she portrayed sorta changed her image, to be a demure, kind and innocent next-door gal. Though I hate it, but I have to admit that this drama is going to clean her image and increase her popularity. Yucks!

The rest still acted more or less the same as the previous season. I’ll update more later after I watch more of this show.

Marley & me

I watched this movie last night with Miss Sunflower. It was a really nice show and I cried like 3 times and tears were all over my face.

It doesn’t have the clinched part where the doggie saved the owner and died gracefully etc. It’s just so simple, yet so sweet. The things that Marley did, every little thing is just so entertaining. It is just a movie, yet it made me laughed and teared uncontrollably.

Imagine I dun have a pet dog, yet I felt so much for the movie. Cant imagine what will happened to Gingy if she watch this. Bet she will stomp out of the cinema half-way, cos she just cant stand the thought of kiki leaving her.

At the end of the movie, George said something very touching, goes something like: They (aka doggies) dun care about being rich, living in a big house or designer clothes.  They will love you all the same, no matter you are rich or poor, smart or dumb, pretty or ugly. They will give you their entire heart, as long as you do the same. Which human being can do the same thing as they do?

I agreed but to add on, I think you dun even have to give doggie all your heart, before they love you whole-heartedly. They will just give you unconditional love.

That’s why I feel that sometimes a doggie is better than a man. More dependable, more reliance and you know that they will always have their eyes on you. No matter what, they will never leave you and when they do, you know it is not of their choice.

一个便利贴女孩的故事

     眼泪在她的眼眶里不停打转，她努力地不让眼泪流下来，为了不想麻烦别人，就算是在这样的情况下。躺在手术台上的她，紧紧握住手里的那个勇气筹码。这是她唯一的信仰，相信一切会更好。她也只可以这样相信了。

看着医生护士戴上面罩的样子，怎么瞬间都变成了狰狞的侩子手? 她其实好害怕，好害怕。但面对他时，为什么只懂得说 “没关系” 呢?耳边突然响起医生为宝宝扫描时说的话: “宝宝一个月了。听得到他的心跳声吗? 不止如此，他们其实已经听得到爸爸妈妈的对话了。” 她的心很酸。宝宝知道他的爸爸妈妈不要他吗? 宝宝现在很伤心吗? 但是，她看到他回避的眼神。她知道了他的回答。深深吸了口气，继续坚持她的决定。那个他，应该被隔离在手术台门后了吧?

她很希望宝宝可以在祝福声中，在很多人的期待下出世。但是，她知道她的宝宝没有这样的幸运。她无法给宝宝一个完整的家。如果把他带到这个世界上，对他很太不公平了。所以她一遍遍地叫自己不要心软。

她很怕，却只能紧紧握着被子。真讽刺，一张薄薄的被子竟比孩子的父亲让她心安。医生问她: “你，准备好了吗?” 好不容易忍著的眼泪。竟在这时，不争气地流下来。

他不想。不想因为一时的错误，毁了他的人生。他那个有Anna的笑声，Anna的撒娇，Anna的一切，的人生。他嘲笑自己。他讨厌Anna对他的自私，对他的残忍。却赫然发现，他和Anna一样，也在做着同样的事，做着伤害别人，对别人自私的事。

楼下传来阵阵吵闹声。他走下去看看，是一男一女在吵架。

男: “不是你说怀孕很辛苦的吗? 所以我们才同意不要他啊。生下来后又没有钱养。”

女: “你怎么可以这么说? 不是说我怀孕就结婚吗? 你在骗我吗?”

说完，女生发疯似地扯著男生的衣服，就要崩溃了。男生一把把她推倒在地。那个他，一个箭步冲上去，揍了男生一拳，歇斯底里地说: “你在搞什么!? 没看见她很害怕吗?” 男生也大声嘶吼: “你说我? 那你的女朋友就不害怕吗?!”

他静了。迟钝的他，终于想起那个她，眼里的恐惧和强忍的眼泪。尽管如此，她仍然只说着 “没关系” 。这样的人，他是怎么狠下心来伤害她的? 他转头，不顾一切冲上楼，撞开手术室的门。门打开的一霎，他刚巧看见了那滴从她眼角落下的泪。 “我要把宝宝留下来! 陈欣怡，跟我走!”

她有片刻的愕然。但，她是感动的。门撞开的那一瞬间，她看见了一个白马王子。一个穿着盔甲，拿着长剑的王子。他脸上闪着莫名的光辉，有着勇敢捍卫家人的神情。那是她在他脸上看过的，最神圣的一个神情。这就是她爸爸说的白马王子吗? 那个会让她成为最闪亮的公主的白马王子吗?

她会永远记得那一刻。

How to fall in love

I was quite bored today as my boss is on half day leave. Then I began to google “How to fall in love” and found this interesting article. I especially highlighted the below quote from the article, cos something about it touched me.

• Love is giving someone the power to hurt you terribly. …And hoping they dont.

The article website: http://www.wikihow.com/Fall-in-Love

Another article makes me laugh. It is about the types of chemicals in work when you fall in love. Accordingly, there are 2 chemicals in work if you want your relationship to last i.e. oxytocin and vasopressin. If only someone can invent capsules of these 2 chemicals and gave it to every couple, then there will not be any separation or divorce.

In this article, it is even simplier to fall in love, in 3 steps:

• Find a complete stranger.

• Reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for half an hour.

• Then, stare deeply into each other’s eyes without talking for four minutes.

Article website: http://www.youramazingbrain.org.uk/lovesex/sciencelove.htm

Interesting…

《爱君如梦》

看这部电影已是很多年前了。印象中，这部片子没有什么特别的。这几天，我阅读了几篇陈可辛和吴君如的专访，突然想到了这部电影。

据说，吴君如在家里其实是很好静的，喜欢读书、画画，和她在荧幕上的形象是完全不同的。女人其实都拥有不止一个样子。

就像电影里，吴君如的角色一样。外表嘻嘻哈哈，好像什么都无所谓，什么都可以大笑带过。其实，她内心是非常渴望爱情，渴望成为别人瞩目的焦点的。但是，她用大笑姑婆般的外表，把这些都深深埋藏起来。是谁误解了大笑姑婆，就没有脆弱、感性的一面呢? 或许，吴君如演的就是自己。

我觉得电影里，另一个演自己的演员，是已故的梅艳芳。电影里的她，是个事业满分，但爱情零蛋的女强人。她用冷酷的外表包装自己，但其实有着一颗向往被爱、被疼的心。现实中的她不是也如此吗? 浮浮沉沉那么多年，经过那么多段感情，她仍然向往一段真挚、持久的爱情。

这么多年后才了解，或许这部电影要做的，就是把这两个女明星的内心世界都展现出来吧?

前头我说过，女人不止一个样子，而这个不是外表的样子，而是内在的样子。

对朋友、对同事的，是一个客气的，稍稍包装过的美好样子。

对更为亲密的人，是一副不需太多顾忌的，可以放肆的样子。

一个人的时候，才是你真实的样子。你会看到你的邋遢，你的丑，你的脆弱，你的敏感，你的愚蠢，你的多愁善感。

你会明白有些话，不能对任何人说，除了自己。因为你永远不会嫌弃自己，永远站在自己这一边。

所以，我爱你。就算物换星移，我都会爱你。

爱你的过去，爱你的现在，爱你的将来，

爱你的无知，也爱你那无聊的幽默感，

爱你不胖的时候，也爱你胖的时候，虽然更爱你瘦下来后拥有的自信心，

爱你对爱情天真的憧憬，也爱你对爱情的死心。

多么希望有一天，我也会拥有陈可辛和吴君如般，互相扶持、依赖的爱情。

30岁的精彩

最新一期《都会佳人》的topic是30多岁女人的爱情。杂志里，访问了3 个30几岁时找到美满爱情的女人。她们并不是一开始就碰到对的人，在爱情道路里，也碰了不少钉子。但，她们都应付得很好，把失败当成一个学习的机会。从中，她们学会了爱情的智慧，更清楚自己要的是什么。这是20几岁女生所没有的，这是岁月送给她们的礼物。

我很喜欢这篇稿，觉得它有鼓励的作用。它鼓励我们不要放弃爱情，因为过往不管有多糟，你都很可能会遇见那个对的他。就算遇不见，就算没有爱情，你的30多岁也是可以过得很精彩的。

还有另一篇稿《女人30魅力何在?》。作者是一个将要结婚的男人，而他的未婚妻足足大他10岁。他说的很对的是男人是视觉动物，而且永远觉得自己风度翩翩。所以，他们永远都会寻找在外表吸引他们的女人，就算他们本身很其貌不扬。

对作者来说，女人的魅力并不会因为年龄而减，反而会增加。因为 “年过30的女人应以丰富的人生理念，增强慧根与自信，一切魅力会由内到外，一气呵成地自然流露。”总的来说，对男人，年龄并不是个问题，外表的吸引力才是他们考虑的关键。我觉得这样的理论很实在，而我也相信这真的是绝大部分男人的心理。

我的外表分不够，我知道。所以，我说过今年我会努力让自己的外表加分。

有时，我不知从哪里来的自信，觉得自己挺有趣，应该有人爱的，哈哈! 我只差一个能够真正了解我那一面的男人。好像，有时我挺幽默的，还有我不时出现的怪想法，应该都会让男人觉得挺有趣吧? 更好的是，我不怕独处，所以我不一定要谈恋爱。想想，我的选择还真多。天下间那么多男人，至少都会有一两个懂得欣赏我的怪想法吧? 就算不选男人，我还可以选择一个人自由地生活，过我的日子。

突然觉得，就算30岁了，也不是一件那么坏的事。

张小娴的话

很喜欢她。觉得她说的，总是让很多女人有共鸣。以下取自她的部落格的文章:

從今以後，彼此又成了陌路，我們都得重新習慣新的人。到了那一天，你會用你習慣的方式去吻另一個人，在床上說著那些你跟我說過的情話，重覆那些親熱的動作，就連道別的背影與微笑，也全歸另一個人所有。

習慣曾有多甜蜜，當失去的時候，也就有多苦澀。

不了解的

发现，我不了解的，很多。
不了解，怎么婚礼会一次又一次让我感动。
不了解，怎么可以一天睡12个钟头。
不了解，怎么会梦见多年不见的人。

在一集的 《同事三分亲》里，美瑶对陆哲说: “陆哲，怎么你还没有学会放下呢? 只要你偶尔想起我，打个电话给我，说: ‘喂，你好吗? 最近还好吗?’ 我就会很开心了。”

不知怎的，让我心中泛起了涟漪。